well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you never un-have a 4some
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
