There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
