i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
