Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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