What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
