The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
