I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are we still banned from the library?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
