Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
