Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
