So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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