She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
