i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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