...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
