I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
