help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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