chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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