i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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