ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
