apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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