STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
