My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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