sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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