So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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