there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
