All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
