Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
