The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
