Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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