There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
