Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
