so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
