just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
