you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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