he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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