Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
