the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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