Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
