Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
soo... how was my night?
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