This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
