Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
