Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
