Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
