Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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