____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
