Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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