wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
