i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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