I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
