4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I won the penis lottery.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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