Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
