I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
