I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They took my balls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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